Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
