i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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