i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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