You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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