she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
