he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
