You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
