I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
