The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
