Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
