My underwear smells like fireworks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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