nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
