NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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