Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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