I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
