i always forget guys have bellybuttons
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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