Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
