I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
