its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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