i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
