this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
