Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
