Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
