Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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