Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
