Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
