i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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