Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I take back everything I said about communal showers
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
