It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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