I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
