I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
