I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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