That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
