you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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