just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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