Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
