Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
