Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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