I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
