Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
