She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
