I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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