Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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