Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
