matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize