I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
