Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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