I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
