yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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