Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
